03.09.04 - 20:39
Today I feel: like a heartbroken girl
Music of the moment: suck a cheetah's dick - uncut(wesley willis tribute)
Something: Here I am again, full circle once more.
So tonight, Waylon broke up with me. Yeah, I know, you are saying, ok and?
Well, personally I think that is enough.
I know I haven't written in like 2 months, and this is one hell of a way to end my dry diary spell, but its the most recent deal for me to write about.
He said he loved me, but he just had to concentrate on his work right now. He doesn't love me, if he did he wouldn't have hurt me like he did. He would have found a way to make it work.
I just don't know what to do with myself right now. I know what I am going to do, but that doesn't tell me how to deal. Im just gonna grieve tonight, get up tomorow, go to school, come home, grieve, and then go drinking with shan. Then I'll get up and go to school, then go home and grieve some more. Repeat for a while.
I just hurt so much right now. My heart is broken again. And this time, just like all the others, I'll pick up the pieces and move on.
Shan was shocked, because true to his word Waylon didn't tell anyone until he told me, and my mom almost had a coronary she was so shocked. Im just kind of in shock, period.
He asked me if I wanted him to stay the night, I told nim no way. We cried together for a while, and then I told him to leave. He left. I wish he hadn't, but its better for me this way. I can begin to get used to not having anyone again.....
I hurt.
