03.10.03 - 08:33
Today I feel: Nervous, and way brain fried.
Music of the moment: Wumpscutt - Wreath of Barbs
Something: I just realized how long its been since I wrote anything here. I tried to last week, but my computer wiped it all out by crashing!! oh well, so here I am to recap the last few weeks for you all.
Where to start? OH yeah.....at the begining, duh!
So 2 weeks ago had me in speech class trying to critique this one girl's speech outline. We were given the instructions to be honest and very clear about what there was, and wasn't. So, Im reading her 2 page blurb on, well I couldn't tell what it was on, cause she didn't have a topic, but it didn't take me long to figure out what she had and didn't have.
So I start out by telling her that I am just trying to be honest, and that she shouldn't take any of what Im going to tell her personally, its about the work, not her. So then I start laying into the lack of work I have in front of me. After two minutes, Ive essentially summed up for her that there is nothing written of any usefulness to the assignment on the paper in front of me. I urged her at this point to seek personal assistance from the teacher, who would be glad to give it. So this goes on, someone else critiques her paper, and mine, and says the same things to her, and the commentary directed to me was pretty on par with the teachers from earlier that week, and so she sulks until its time to leave. And when it is, she bolted out of there like her ass was on fire. She ended up being so upset with what I had told her that she dropped the class.
So then fast forward to this past Tuesday. I gave my speech for the class on the Gothic Subculture. It went really well, really really well. I got a 59 out of 60 for it. I was very happy. Then waylon calls me, crying no less, because this independant contract job he got with microsoft is tearing his sanity to shreads. So I talk him thru that, and by thursday he's so out there, that I marched my not so happy ass all the way to the city to bring him home. I went to where he and a friend of his were working on it, and I pulled the plug on his involvment. We went home, and he's recovering what he can of his mental stability. He's promised me that he's never doing that again.
So this last weekend I was supposed to be studying for the history test that I have today. I even made it to the library on friday to start studying. Waylon came two hours into it and made me take him home, so I got nothing done. I just studied as much as i could, and so I know about as much as Im going to for today.
But on the better note, next Wednsday, the 19th of March, it will have been a year for me and Waylon. I don't know how I feel about that. I do feel nervy around him right now, and I am hoping that it goes away soon. and he's getting nervy around me too, thinking everytime I get a little upset over something, or I have a headache, that I hate him and that I am mad at him for some reason. Its bull shit, but he's just insecure. And right now, Im trying to maintain some distance for myself without letting him know that I don't want to see him every waking hour of the day. Cause if he thinks that Im pulling back, he'll assume that Im going to dump him, which im not, and he'll overreact.
men.
