2002-02-07 - 11:22 p.m.
Today/Tonight I feel: Strange but satisfied.
Music of the moment: Siouxsie and the Banshees - cities in the dust.
Well, I just got back from a afternoon of icecream and an evening of physical activity. Remember what I said about the word "Beautiful"? Well, keep it in mind...
So I make plans to go out with Aric, he ends up taking me to the dublin hacienda, for really really really good ice cream. We're talkin bliss in a cone. So we get that, I had raspberry cheesecake, and then we start walking around, just shooting the shit and catching up. After I finally finish my pile of cheesecaky goodness, we stop into starbucks, stay there for an hour, and continue to talk about stuff. Nothing much in particular.
So we finally decide to leave, and he heads back towards his house. I've been there before, so it was no big deal. We settle down in his room, and I start to putter around on his computer, showing him all the nifty things I discovered recently, like my friend Drave being in "Angst Technology", www.inktank.com. visit please.
Aric is famous for his back rubs, so he askes me if I want one, and of course I say yes. So he starts laying on the charm as heavy as his hands are kneading my tense muscles, He calls me "Beautiful", never "cute". We always used to joke around, so I thought little of it. Soon, massage turns into tentative grope session. He leaned in to kiss me, and I kissed him back. Then he stopped, and asked me what I wanted from this. I told him the only answer I had to that, absolutely nothing except for feelings being spared. He didn't want to hurt me, I didn't want to hurt him. So with that out of the way, he and I both became more bold, and we ended up sleeping together. Im not proud of it, but I did enjoy it, a lot. Aric and I are also mature enough, I think, to not let this completely ruin our friendship. We both understand that things will change now, and thats ok. Im very glad of that.
The one draw back to this is that I came home half an hour ago, smelling strongly of him. He doesn't smell bad or anything, he actually smells quite appealing, I just smelled very much like him. I didn't like that. I have this thing where I cant smell like the guy Im sleeping with. If I smell like him, I have to take a shower, or put on perfume, because the scent will drive me nuts, not in the good way. Like tonight, as soon as Aric dropped me off, I hopped in the shower and washed again, even though I had just taken a shower earlier today. But I feel better now, and thats what matters to me. Now I smell like raspberries and green tea. Yummmy.
Well, im about ready to crash and fall asleep, so thats all for now.
